I used to struggle with saying “YES!” too often at work.
It conditioned others to view me as the “go-to” when hard things needed to be said or done quickly and…
My energy, weight, and health suffered.
So did my attitude because I resented people for it.
BUT I was the problem because…
YOU teach your boss & colleagues how to treat you!
Now I have a strategy for managing the issue.
It’s what I use, what I teach clients, and it works!
Boundaries challenge MANY busy, professional women and...
It leads to major stress!
So, I’m sharing 4 tips to help YOU!
But first - what do unhealthy boundaries look like?
• Do extra projects to avoid saying “no.”
• Regularly stay for late and unscheduled meetings that “run over.”
• Take NOT URGENT weekend calls and reply to emails after work hours.
• Rarely take a day off - even if you’re ill or exhausted.
Well, none of that makes for a healthy work-life balance.
It burn you out, creates stress, and makes you gain weight!
Use these 4 tips to put boundaries in place:
1. Take leave:
PTO is an earned benefit, so use it.
Mental exhaustion is a valid use of sick leave!
And letting vacation time accrue & expire doesn’t earn you pride points.
2. Clearly communicate your BUSY-NESS:
Set “out of office” responses in email, on your phone, and in apps like Slack.
BLOCK time for “deep mode” work.
Make it visible on your calendar and shut your office door.
A sign directing visitors to who can help is an appropriate way to show you’re being productive.
3. Delegate work:
You do the work you’re hired to do, and you do it well.
As a “team player” you occasionally take on extra projects outside your responsibilities.
So when work is completely beyond the scope of your role, say “no” or delegate it to someone more suited to do it.
4. Keep work relationships professional:
A job worth keeping is a job - not a family.
Of course, you may have a close colleague.
But do not confuse her for your BFF.
It can be tricky to navigate, but maintaining these professional boundaries avoids disappointment and potential future backstabbing.
My clients share horror stories.
I have them too with video to prove it.
In today’s business minded-work world, dog-eat-dog cultures exist.
It’s not always easy, but solid boundaries help you do your best work and avoid potential toxic situations.
And it protects your health!
Which one of these tips do you need to work on?
P.S. Use the link in the comments to join over 1,300 other busy professional women in my free LORI DODDY TOTAL WELLNESS community here on FB.
I share more research based weight loss and stress management tips there!
I used to be a SLAVE to calorie counting.
I believed it was THE way to lose weight. (Until counting fat grams became hot.)
I counted and cut calories - drastically.
When the scale didn’t budge, I counted and cut them MORE.
Then I cried because the damn scale still didn’t move!
Have you been there?
Here’s the thing…
Calories matter - sort of.
But we don’t need to count them to lose weight.
And here’s why it’s a waste of your time and…
It actually adds pounds to your body:
1. That tracking keeps you in “diet mode,” which feels like crap and isn’t sustainable for life!
2. Calorie counting focuses on the WRONG thing for weight loss and health.
You can restrict yourself to 1200 cals a day and still GAIN weight.
Calorie quality is key and to be frank, you don’t know how to evaluate that for YOUR body at your age, and your goals without expert help.
Plus, calorie restriction always leads to rebound weight gain.
So your “calorie counting diet” makes you fatter.
3. Food labels LIE!
Yep, laws allow for labels to be inaccurate by 20% or more depending on where you are AND…
The calories listed are based on averages, which absolutely doesn’t factor in the complexity of individual digestion processes.
Add to that the changes your body has undergone with age, and you’re suckered by those lying numbers.
Most of you eat FAR more calories than you think EVEN if you track them.
Here’s how you beat this weight loss battle!
Focus on what you eat, rather than how many calories you eat.
With an expert guide’s help, not Google or some BS fad diet, you can learn how to feed your body so you stay healthy and lose weight for good!
Look…I know it can be easy to fall into the diet trap.
I remember being willing to do ANYTHING lose weight, and I did.
I bet you have too.
But it NEVER works in the long run.
You’re still unhealthy.
You have no energy and you’re winded bending over to tie your shoes.
Nothing fits, and life just feels shitty.
But it doesn’t have to be that way…
And I’ll help you get a start on how to change it!
Just click below and send me the word #HELP
I’d start trying to lose weight and see a little progress.
So I’d stick to “my diet.”
BUT the scale always stopped dropping - for what seemed like no reason at all.
And I got frustrated!
So I tried even harder:
I cut calories, carbs, sugar, and fat. I lived on salad, grilled chicken, and broccoli!
And still the scale wouldn’t budge.
My family and friends would enjoy holiday drinks and goodies.
And I felt more deprived.
I’d work SO freaking hard only to be sad.
And I’d feel a failure *again.*
So I’d quit *again.*
Look I get it…
It’s hard to stay focused with all the yummy holiday treats around.
It’s hard to exercise consistently, especially when visible results are slow to come.
But I want to give you 2 perspectives to consider...
1. The diets and products you’re using are just wrong! So it’s not all you! You’re never going to get the lasting results you want using them.
2. When you DO get a proven process and accountability from a credible coach - who has overcome the struggles you face - it will take some time to reach your goals.
But you CAN get some big wins in a short time!
And all of that helps you keep going!
It also helps you STOP being a chronicle quitter!
If that sounds good to you…
And you want more research-based tips on how to lose weight for good, JOIN MY FREE TOTAL WELLNESS GROUP on Facebook!
Invite your busy professional female friends and family to join you too!
BUT ONLY IF...
They want to be part of a supportive community for professional women that's unlike any other FB group.
I do NOT...
It went on for YEARS...
I was exhausted even though I had JUST woken up.
Faint memories of my night full of thinking came back to my foggy brain.
If you get this, you know.
And if you don’t have time to read the rest but want it to STOP, then SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM!
I never got restful sleep.
My brain “ran” all night…
• work projects
• people (read: issues) to handle
• problems to solve
Stress flooded my brain and body constantly.
I dragged myself to the coffee pot. Then off to a scalding hot shower. And I prayed to wake up from the haze.
I wanted to lose weight and feel better.
But I had no energy to do anything except come in from a long day, pull off my bra, and plop onto the couch.
I didn’t have the brain power or time to figure that out.
So we mostly ate drive though crap.
I’m embarrassed now to admit that.
But it was my reality because I “just couldn’t.”
Did I mention I was only in my mid-late 30s at the time?
I was done. Over it all.
And some days I didn’t know how I could keep going.
I felt horrible - about myself, about my mom-ability, and about what I was giving in our marriage.
Let me be clear...
I had done every fad diet.
I had spent thousands on gadgets, pills, teas, detoxes, prepackaged foods, and every program.
I hoped “this one” would be “the one” to fix me.
But they didn’t.
So I’d spiral - again.
Look, I’m just saying I get it...
I get you.
And I’m saying…
YOU all deserve that!
YOU DESERVE THAT LIFE!
And it doesn’t take a crazy, time consuming commitment.
But making real change does take a proven process and credible help from a woman who’s faced and overcome it.
And when you’re truly sick of living in your waking hell, you don’t let anything stop you.
Am I right?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and struggles too.
So… I don’t get it when a woman says, “I have to ask my husband.”
Don’t get me wrong - Roger and I respect each other.
That means we ask for the others’ opinion and listen carefully to that feedback.
But I don’t “ask permission” to do anything or to invest in myself - even when that investment is huge.
And neither does he.
We support each other - even if we don’t completely agree.
If your relationship includes having to “ask” to do something that betters you, makes you happier, and improves your health…
I’d consider WHY.
What does that say about his trust and control, his support, and his desires for YOUR needs?
What are your thoughts on this?
This has to change!
When it happened 7 years ago, my sides bulged over my pants, my suit jacket wouldn’t button, and I came home from the office dead ass tired every single day.
The sight of that fat and the exhaustion disgusted me.
And as badly as I wanted it to change, I feared failing again.
I had done every diet and lost weight only to gain it all back - again and again.
So I wondered if I could actually make it happen for REAL.
And frankly, I was also embarrassed to tell Roger that I was spending more money on trying to lose weight. [Don’t mistake “telling” him for “asking” him. But that discussion is for another day.]
My point here is this…
That “I have to do something” feeling was too strong to ignore.
So through fear and doubt, I did it what I needed to do because I deserve to feel good!
Many women reading this are feeling exactly what I’m talking about.
You desperately need to make a change but…
You’re letting fear keep you stuck - in bad relationships, in jobs you hate, and from losing the weight that’s making you despise the way you look and feel.
And I get it because I did that too many times to count before I finally STOPPED!
It was scary in the beginning, for sure.
But when I stopped letting fear rule my life, I dropped the weight and felt so much better.
I also saw power, control, confidence when I looked in the mirror.
BUT an even more positive impact took shape in that change.
Through improving my physical and mental health, I developed the strength to take complete control of every other aspect of my life.
And THAT strength showed up big when my work life became unbearable.
This time, fear and doubt were even louder, but I faced them bravely and left a system (and people) that no longer aligned with my ethics, beliefs, and values.
I can trace my ability to take that leap back to the day I looked in the mirror, disgusted and said:
THIS HAS TO CHANGE!
It was a direct result of the real strength I’d created.
And that’s when I truly began living a life of joy beyond what I’d ever imagined.
You see - this change I share with you and help women make is so much more than losing weight.
It’s about living life on your terms - with power, integrity, kindness, choice, faith, and joy!
But it has to start with a decision to stop giving into the fear that’s keeping you paralyzed in unhappiness and weakness.
I decided to CHOOSE how I wanted to feel and look, and that led to being powerful enough to CHOOSE how I want to live!
If you know THIS HAS TO CHANGE, but you’re stuck in fear…
You have one shot - one opportunity - to seize everything you ever wanted - everything you want!
So I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this
I’d love to know if you will capture your shot or let it slip by?
[Thank you, Eminem, for the Inspo.]
You know it, right?
The dread that comes as you face all the clothes you know won’t fit.
Then then disgust as you stand over a pile of clothes after you tried on 10 outfits.
You tugged on and stretched out the shirts.
You “sucked it in” to zip jeans.
In the end, you’re in tears and feel “fat.”
For a split second, SHE flashed into my head today.
Then I pulled on these jeans and smiled remembering that’s not my life anymore.
That fat girl still tries to visit me every once in a while.
She tries to pull me back into her fear and lack of confidence.
But my mind is as STRONG as my body now.
So her voice is much softer and her emotions carry far less power these days.
If you still struggle with her, please hear this…
Losing weight is awesome.
Buying skinny jeans is amazing.
But you get rid of those negative feelings about yourself by working on your INSIDES and your outsides!
I’d love to hear your experiences with the closet.
Are you still in that struggle?
3 REASONS CALORIE COUNTING DOESN’T WORK!
Hi, I'm Lori!
I'm a wife, mom, grandma, former college professor and VP, turned weight loss and fitness professional passionate about helping busy, professional women lose weight and manage burnout levels of stress, so you live comfortable and confident in your own skin - and never diet again.